The essay that I am going to revise for our final paper is
essay two. For me, it was just easier to write about the second topic that I chose
rather than the first. My second essay was already long enough for the rewrite
too, so I only need to change a few things in it to make it better. I feel
overall, that my second paper was better too. I am going to try to make the
thesis more specific which will help make my body paragraphs shorter and less like nonsense. I am also going to add in more transitional phrases into my paragraphs
to make it flow better. Another important thing to make my paper better is
working on the topic sentences and the ending sentences. If I make them
stronger, then the paper will sound more intelligible. I am also thinking about
changing the layout of my paper entirely which goes along with making a
stronger thesis. If I make it simpler it would be easier to follow and to
understand what argument I’m trying to make. I will also make sure to make an
original title because I completely forgot to do it for essay two.
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